ILM

In loving memory: Becca Goates.
Becca died Thursday night. she committed suicide by hanging herself. I don't know why, but I'm sorry that she felt she had to go that far. We said a prayer for her at sarah's party. Everyone will miss her.

Now on a lighter note.

Sarah's party was fun. we hung out, did blah. yup.

um... i haven't talked to david in over a week. considering what normally has happened when i can't contact him for a week or more, i'm creeping out again. so joy. j-freaking-oy.

yeah: lot's of mental stuff going on: you'll have to go to cfm. yup.

i made a new friend: morgan. now also known as "max's girlfriend" me being max. yeah: there was this confusion over my name, and she was like: i'll just call you max. and then i was like: ok, then you're max's girlfriend. we've talked on the phone a couple times. she's cool. i can't believe she's only 13. like carrie. but yeah. oh- and she's jeremy's gf, but she's mine first. uh-huh. don't worry david: the only person you have to worry about competition with is rachel and carrie. lol.

i went to church today. of my own volition. and i didn't even scream out "let satan bless you and rape you all" either. go me. i think...???

um... i think that's it. oh yeah: i'm planning my sweet sixteen. yes: i know it's still like 3 months and one week from now: you're point is? *sigh* in any case.

yup... that's it.

end.

Jazz's Party

-positive side. i suggest you read cfm first so you can read this afterward and be somewhat cheered up.

ok- carrie came over to my house yesterday. so did alan, and we watched white oleander. that was awesome.

the party was cool too. i even sang. lol. once with jamie, on my immortal, and another time by myself: broken. i had fun. everybody told me i did good. i thought so... at the time (refer to cfm)

um... not much else happened. i had fun. headbanged a lot, my neck is so sore right now. but yeah. basically, i had the time of my life hanging out with my friends. it was a blast though. really.

and i did eat cake and carrots and a chip or two. be happy.

but i gotta go- so yeah! toodles!!!

random shtuff... (yes, i mean shtuff)

well- i talked to david like... tuesday. j-freaking-oy. oh well. at least we talked.

um... i got my PLAN test results back. they were okay... well- they were awesome... but not the point. i got a 27 out of 32. *shrug* on the graph that shows percentage that got worse or the same as me, i got 3 100s, 4 99s, a 97 and a 95. my estimated ACT range was 28-32. for once i was good enough for my parents. not that i care anymore. but that tells me something.

one of my new year's resolutions is to get straight a's this semester. not on papers: but 9 weeks, and sem tests. yup- we'll see how that goes. i'll be satisfied with high b's in ap classes, but everything else will be an a.

choir is a mess. first off, they put the advanced and the general together, and now they go and dump 20 more people in bc there's nowhere else to put them. so now we have 15 people who want to be in there and want to do something good with their time. and 35 who couldn't care less.

i have decided to forsake evanescence with the exception of like.. 4 songs. in their place will be flyleaf. they rock. i'm like... in love. (don't worry david- i won't leave you for them) lol! ;P

in any case. that's all. um.. yeah- or... not...

a lot of other crap has been going on. but its all is mental/emotional. you'll have to go to cfm to see it.

lately...

Well, lately everything has been... well, there's no one word to describe everything: they've all been bad or good to varying degrees. I guess I'll start with the thing foremost in my mind.

I haven't heard from David in a while. It's starting to really freak me out. I don't know... *sigh* but yeah.

um... school is ok. i guess. one of my new-year's resolutions is to do better. on my report card I got 4 a's and 4 b's. 2 of the b's were in ap classes anyway, but yeah. my gpa right now is like... a 3.6 or 3.7. something like that. I want to get it up to like a 3.9 tho... or something like that. that means a's in every class... maybe minus one. i bet i could do it if i actually tried. heh... wow: me trying at school... interesting. we'll see.

um... my weight dropped another lb. freaking joy. well... i actually am happy... even though i know it's not good... but... yeah... i don't know. i just... can't deal with it: it's easier to give in. it's easier to do a lot of stuff... though it isn't necessarily the right or the best thing to do.

i talked to justin today. that was awesome. i haven't talked to him in a while. i hope i get a chance to go down there soon. I want to see him so badly.

Rachel came over today. we are trying to figure out what to do on the talent show. reflections (mulan) is an option.

wow... david and i have been going out for 8 months... hm...

um... i think that's all... other stuff has been going on, however, ... due to my lovely comp (kicks comp) i have only 8 minutes left, and i have homework due tomorrow anyway, so I'll write about that later. possibly on cfm... since it's all mental crap... j-freaking-oy. yup... j-freaking-oy.

the beautiful anathema of sanguine cemetary nights,
Julie