Waiting to Reach the Horizon

So much has happened since I last posted. It's hard to truly recap on everything that has occured in the past (?) months. My heart has broken, healed, and broken again. My goals and dreams have become fluid, constantly changing. I got a job, lost friends, and suffered through happiness. I have touched thoughts, and smelled flowers, and laughed in the face of despair. I have moved through spheres of existence while staying solitary in my personal plane, and time has moved through me. I don't expect this to make sense to you, whoever you are, and I don't care if you wonder about my sanity, or lack thereof. I am trying to expound these feelings in a way that they might make sense to me. I am trying to gain knowledge, to grow, and hopefully, to reach a collective center in myself. This is my journey, and you're welcome to follow me, or try. I see a new book beginning soon, and whether this is the epilogue of the last one, or the prologue of the new, it matters not. The old book will be burned, and I don't want to look back. The present is all that exists. I intend to attain mindfulness, as the past is gone and the future will eventually come to be. I hope to be happy.

Right now:
I am Jennifer Julie Pyle, and I am fighting many things. Things around me, things of me, and things inside of me. My parents are anchors and shadows, keeping me tethered and reminding me of the past, and though I might call them the source of my displeasure, it would be better to say I am not happy while I am with them. I have a love, Michael, who can make me the happiest and the saddest. It is hard loving him when his mouth drips with empty lies and his eyes rest elsewhere, and I do not know where his heart is. I have dreams: many dreams. I dream of a magnificent career as an interior designer. I dream of children. I dream of happiness. I am still in high school, and am looking at college. I have been offered several full rides with stipends, and am seriously considering one of them. I am wondering about choices I have made, and am fighting old battles. I will not say I will update here often, but I will when I feel the need. And until then...

pianos, rags, and missed calls,
-peruvian peanut.