... crap... i have so much going on it's not even funny. *sigh* i don't know where to start. i am just under a lot of stress bc of school, friends, home, internal crap... ugh. i don't know.
hmm... well- i guess i could go in order. school is a bitch bc it is school enough said. homework, tests, presentations, quizzes, chopstix (don't ask)... everything is sorta bleh. how else can i explain it???
friends- there is just a lot of... stuff coming up i guess. i really don't want to get into much detail here, but there are just some conflicts coming up and it's just... weird.
parents- this i can talk about. ok- the other day i talked to my dad and pretty much explained the anorexia/bulemia crap, the cutting, the depression, and a couple of other things. well- not much has changed except for the fact that i can walk around the house without worrying about my cuts showing... though i'm still discreet about it. and it's so stupid bc i told him that most of the time when we eat and i say i have already eaten, or i'll get something later its bc i don't want to eat. and lately i have been saying the same thing, and still not eating much, and he hasn't said a word. i think i talked to him about this on wed, and that night i skipped supper, thursday i ate one shrimp, and then talked my way through the rest of the meal, fri i didn't get home til 10-30 anyway, but i had eaten nachos at the game, and today i ate breakfast while they were at the farmer's market, skipped lunch, and skipped supper, and for all they know i haven't eaten a thing except for a few grapes. and he hasn't said anything. i would laugh at it if it weren't such a serious thing. and when i told him, he was just like, oh, we'll see about getting you another psychologist. that was it. great, huh?
and as for the eating, or, lack of eating, ... i don't know. ugh. it's so stupid, bc i know i'm not fat, but i don't believe what i know... rrr... i guess i'll go get something to eat when i get off of here to make you people stop worrying... except you won't... bleh. this sux.
anyway, i wish i could end this on a nicer note... but i don't really have much to talk about. so... yeah.
pencils, geishas, and hands-
Julie
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