ugh- you want to know what's just grreeeaaattt??? when you get so bored, so that you get 9 blogs, a xanga, a teenopendiary, ur own website, an allpoetry account, a poetry.com account, a myspace, and god-knows-how-many emails, just to keep you not bored- but then you got so busy just getting them, that you now have not had anything in the least bit interesting happen to you. Therefore- you have absolutely no use of any of them- except to annoy ppl as they try to check up on you- and find that the only thing you have to say is that you got another blog, a new xanga, ... i think you see where i'm going...
well- to tell you the truth- nothing really has been happening to me- I went back to volunteering at the library today- so I wasn't at home, doing nothing but getting more things. btw- I am posting links to my account at teenopendiary onto aiedail-updates. in case you want another meaningless thing to read- of which i have way too many. I really don't know what i am going to do with all of these once school starts- there is no way i would be able to keep up with all of them. lets see... 9, ... 12, ...14, 15 things i am supposed to keep up with- and i bet you i am missing SOMETHING... and those aren't even emails- i don't even remember all the emails i have. I counted everything together that I could remember the other day when carrie asked me, ... I think i said 31 or something??? agh- too much- and especially for such a boring life... which is mine- unfortunately.
I found a really cool store today when I went walking during my lunch break type thingy at the library. Well- it's not in the library- it was on my walk-... u know what i mean. In any case, its called like 'the 10,000 village store' or something like that. They have all this stuff that has been imported from all over the world. it is awesome- and i am really into that cultural stuff now. I was thinking for a while about painting my room black, or a dark blue... or purple... and decorate it all goth and crap- but now... i dont really know. i might paint it black just bc it would go well with the batiks i could put up, and tons of oriental paper fans, chinese scrolls, phillipina art etchings, etc. I might start coming to school next yr in kimonos! or not... probably those other 'chinese' dresses- the one with the crossover button neck thats sorta tight- ok... eww, or not- im too fat for those. bleh- i know- "ur not fat julie"... whatever. I still h8 it whenever people wrongly associate stupid stereotypes with the real thing. But really- the whole 'goth' thing for me is starting to get a bit old and I have to try too hard now to keep up appearances- I don't want to be something I have to try hard at. And the straight black is getting really hard- all the cool black clothes you find at the mall are too expensive, and i could go shop at places like salvation army or something, to get a similar look... but i don't know- im thinking about trying something different. I mean- i'll still wear black every once in a while- but i'm going to drift around- do whatever the hell i like- just bc i like it. I don't know- lately i feel more comfortable with who I am- rather than comfortable as how ppl see me. I think- in my quest to not care how people saw me, I started to become comfortable to have them see me as 'another goth'... but i don't want to be abled to be classified. I want them to have to look beneath the clothes and the make-up to see who i am, so that they can either appreciate me or h8 me for who I really am. If they always see me in one specific 'category' of clothing- they can draw incorrect conclusions. I was always alright with being known as 'the hispanic goth grl,' but there is so so much more to me than that. and black clothes don't really convey that much about me- just a small portion of one side. And i'm not alright with it now- I am playing society's game in doing the same thing all the time and letting them think of me how they perceive me as from my attire. I am going to make society play my game instead- if they want to make a conclusion about me- they're going to have to get to know me to do it. Now- I'm not saying I am going to go around always wearing pastel pink and pastel blue... hell no! I won't go opposite just for the sake of it. If I feel like wearing pastel blue one day... fine- whatever. But i doubt I will ever wear pink. ::shivers:: it's just not me. When I wore straight white to school this yr- it was half because I felt like making a statement that I was not predictable and they shouldn't expect me to do the whole goth look all the time, and half bc I felt like a change. But the half I did it for the most was statement- it shouldn't be that way. But then again, a lot of things aren't the way they are supposed to be. But now- I am going to be true to my preferences- whether they be black from Hot Topic, red from Wet Seal, crimson from Dillard's, or (god forbid) pink from Abercrombie and Fitch. I seriously doubt the last one though.
wow... i so did not mean to get into that humongous topic. well- at least i wasnt writing (solely) about my new diary at teenopendiary, my myspace account, ... etc.
hot tamales, rabbit-feet keychains, and kisses-
Julie
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